Do Not Use While Sleeping
by Candied
Summary: Destati U is a prostigious school, known for its scholars. It is a quiet, high class school, but there's one problem A rivalry between eight families that causes unbelievable mischeif. What will these boys do next? [AU AkuRoku SoRiku Zemyx LeonCloud yaoi]
1. Welcome to College

**Do Not Use While Sleeping**

By Candied

Disclaimer: I wished on a shooting star for the rights to Kingdom Hearts, but instead it fell on my head and knocked me unconcious. Stupid star.

Official warning: This story has both heterosexual pairings as well a homosexual ones. Be prepared for strange plot twists, oppinionated views of the characters, twisted humor, and all in all absurd scenarios. Rated M for language.

Author's notes: Ok, this is my first attempt at a comedy, and while this first chapter isn't as good as the ones to come, it's the basic idea around the plot. Don't worry, I haven't forgotten Moonlight Shadow or Error 404: Crazy, it's just that this popped into my head and refused to go away. I've had it typed up for a while now, but after Jordan getting on me to give her a link, I finally posted it on here. So, this one's dedicated to her. Hope you all enjoy it!

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Chapter one: Welcome to College

Today, life as I knew it ended forever.

For starters, I guess I should introduce myself, right? My name is Roxas Strife. I have just graduated Destiny High, and today was my first day at Destati University. I have two brothers, Sora and Cloud.

Sora is my twin- older by a few seconds. He's bright, cheery, and has the attention span of a goldfish on crack. Seriously, if you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.

Cloud is completely the opposite. It's almost difficult to get him to smile, unless you're Sora, infamous for your sickeningly cheery disposition. Cloud likes to call his personality 'enigmatic', but I like to call it 'emo'. However, whenever I mention it, he displays his dissagreement by punching his fist into the back of my head. It's hard to salvage your dignity as you peel yourself from the floor though, so I usually apologize.

Moving on...

Sora and I had it all, as far as we were concerned. We were following in the family tradition of going to Destati University, and so were all of our friends. Honestly, we didn't find it at all strange that all of our friends had the same tradition, we just thought ourselves very lucky.

However, after today I knew that I had become involved in something much larger than myself, and all of my friends combined. So it is this morning, where I will begin the story.

My brother Cloud had come over that morning for breakfast, prepared to take us to the campus early and 'prepare us for college life', as he put it.

So he, Sora, and I sat at the table as my mother piled mounds of food onto our plates.

I raised an eyebrow at the fourteen pieces of sausage and pile of scrambled eggs the size of my head that were scattered over my plate. Feeding your family was one thing, but this was just obnoxious.

"Mom... You do realize that I have, in fact, eaten before in my eighteen years of life."

Glancing over at my twin's plate, I noticed that I could barely see his chocolate colored spikes over his own heap of breakfast foodstuffs.

My mother simply giggled sweetly. "Well, yes, but today is a big day for you. You're going to need your strength. What kind of mother would I be if I didn't send you off with a full tummy?" She brushed her delicate blonde locks over her shoulder, showing her beaming smile.

"My... strength?"

The woman that bore me ignored my question, opting instead to turn to my brother Cloud.

"Your senior year, Cloud. Now you're making way for the twins, isn't it exciting?"

My eye twitched at the title she used to refer to Sora and I. "The twins". As if we were one joined thing instead of two individuals. It wasn't even like we were identical or anything.

Instead of chestnut locks poking out in spikes from every angle of my head, I had blonde tresses, gently sweeping to my right and upward. Everything about me was much more graceful than my twin brother.

I looked to said boy, currently attempting to demolish the defenseless sausage and eggs with his face. He grinned at me, sausage link dangling from his sweetly innocent face.

"S'good!"

I concur.

I, much more mannerly, approached my bewilderingly large breakfast with my fork after hearing Sora's face-stuffed declaration.

When the three of us finally maneuvered to the door with all the proper farewell biddings to our mother, we all piled into Cloud's car.

I know what you're thinking; waiting to learn the exact layout of the campus and dorms until the first day? Strange, I know, but for a reason unbeknownst to myself, my family members insisted on it.

We were not completely unprepared, though. Cloud had taken the two of us to set up the dorm room we would be sharing, and we left our cars there the night before, knowing Cloud would be our ride come the next morning. Everything would be easier that way, right? Why take three cars?

The idea of leaving both our modes of transportation seemed less wonderful of an idea, however, upon our arrival.

I swung open the passenger side door and staggered helplessly to my vehicle; a two-door Honda Del Sol- a sporty but sweet little black car I had worked two summer jobs to save up for half of the expense. My parents had agreed to pay the other half.

I was shocked though now, at the torment my precious baby had suffered sometime between the previous night and now.

There were crusted, broken eggs all over, the only spots not covered by the dead chicken babies smothered with yellow spray-paint that spelled out random obscenities.

My knees hit the hard pavement, as my eyes bulged at the monstrocity that had befallen my innnocent little car. From the squeels I heard emerging from Sora's undoubtably pout lips, I assumed his car had met the same painted and chicken fetus-ie fate.

Cloud simply strutted to the front of our side-by-side vehicles to take view of our hoods.

"Number eight and number fifteen," he announced, crossing his arms and letting blonds locks fall to cover his eyes.

"What?" I slowly regained my bearings and stood, finding my stance to be a bit shakey with my disbelief.

The older boy motioned to the hoods of our cars. I walked over to view the spectacle, as did Sora, and found the roman numerals boldly stated in malicious yellow paint. My car read "VIII", and Sora's read "XV".

"Okay...?" asked the brunnette.

"Number eight; Axel, and number fifteen; Riku. That's who did this."

I made a fist, and unitentionally snarled at my older brother. "What the hell are you talking about!? And why did they leave evidence of who did it!?"

"They wanted credit for their handiwork."

After assuring us that his friends would take care of our cars, Axel ushered us off to the dorm room with a promise of an explanation. We got to the room, and Cloud locked the door before rubbing his temples fervently.

"Their information is good," he mumbled to himself, before taking view of his two flaberghasted brothers, "It seems they've already brought in the welcome wagon."

"Who is _they_ and what the hell are you talking about!?" I demanded, punching a fist into my bed.

I was ignored.

"Sora, who is your best friend?" Cloud asked the brunette, leaning on the door.

"Uh... Kairi. You know that."

"Not anymore. That friendship ends here and now. From now on, that girl is your enemy."

A bewildered Sora shot up from his seat on his bed, waving his arms around like an idiot trying to fly. "Wha-Why!?"

There was silence for a moment, while Cloud seemed to contemplate his answer to such a question.

"Because that's the way it is."

The younger of my two brothers did not seem pleased by this vague reply, and stomped his foot to further show his displeasure. As if his scrunched-up nose was not enough.

"But-!"

He was cut off when Cloud waved a hand to silence him, seemingly having decided to elaborate.

"When this school was first founded, our great-great grandparents were among the first to attend. However, during their student life at Destati University; a sort-of war erupted between seven families. Four on one side, three on the other. Two unified fronts fighting against the other,"

"Well, what does that have to do with us?" Sora asked.

Cloud and I both let out an exaggerated sigh. Sora would never go down in history for his witty intellect.

"You were born into one of those families, and Kairi was born into one of the opposing ones. Number eight- Axel? The one that slaughtered Roxas' car? That's her older brother."

The brunnette looked as though he would cry at the sound of Clouds words, so I offered him a comforting smile.

"What about Hayner?" I asked, becoming immeiately aware again of my own best friend.

"He's on our side."

I sighed a much-needed breath of relief.

"Moving on, on our side we have, of course, the three of us. Then there's Hayner, Demyx, Naminé, Yuffie, and Tifa."

Sora was counting on his fingers with each name spoken.

"On the flip side, there's the twins Axel and Reno, Kairi," Sora flinched, "The twins Riku and Kadaj, Fuu, Zexion, and Leon."

I raised an eyebrow at my older brother. "Leon Leonhart? Wasn't he your best friend in highschool?"

"And now we're mortal enemies. Funny how life works out, isn't it?"

Sora sighed. "Or doesn't work out."

"Either way," Cloud continued, "Don't expect this whole practical joke thing to last long, that's just standard introduction. Sooner or later, you'll have an actual confrontation."

Sora's eyes widened so large I thought they were going to pop out of his head an ricochet off the walls. "You mean, like a fight?"

Cloud nodded. "Yeah, and you'd best be ready for it."

Apparently he decided that we could make it through the day when left to our own devices, because he promptly turned around and left, closing the door behind him. I can't say I wasn't glad to see him go, as I was a bit taken aback by the knowledge he had bestowed apon us, and perhaps some time to think could do me good.

Sora half-scowled, half-pouted and grabbed his pillow, hugging it tight into his stomache. "Why don't I recall signing myself up for some kind of gang?"

"No one remembers their birth, Sora."

I layed myself down on the bed with a sigh, thankful for coming here so early. Cloud had given us two hours to adjust; something I was now more than grateful for. Apparently those karate lessons mom payed so much for would finally come in handy.

After soaking-in what little information our brother had left us with, Sora and I left in search of our classes, to better map the route we would be taking through the course of the year.

In truth, Sora and I shared many differences when it came to education. I was a straight 'A' student, while he was more prone to dozing off and delivering to the class a series of graceful snoring noises. He did well in his classes though, save for chemistry which he had failed at miserably. He would be majoring in photography, and I was majoring in illustration. We both had a knack for the more artistic courses, but I was still suprised to find out we would be having some of the same classes together, such as English 101, which we would be attending later this morning.

After finding our classes, Sora and I strolled down the main hallway, still having some time to kill.

"Say, Roxas? Do you think anyone dies in these fights Cloud was talking about?"

Though my brother had more of a gentle nature when it came down to it, and he was obviously concerned about the conflict we had been thrown into, I knew he would at least be able to hold his own when the time came.

"I suppose, if they're careless." I replied. The look I recieved after that told me that it was not the answer my twin had hoped to hear.

"The rest of us will be looking after you two, as well as Naminé and Hayner," a voice said from behind us.

We stopped in our strut and turned to see a rather short, slim girl with short black hair and deep mahagony eyes. The self-proclaimed, "Great ninja, Yuffie".

"Wouldn't want any of our new recruits to end up six feet under," she continued, bending over at the waist and pointing to the ground for added affect. Her face was cheery and bright, however, which was odd for such a morbid subject.

Sora reached up and scratched the back of his head, giving the small ninja a sheepish smile. "How long have you been spying on us?"

The girl stood up straight now, placing both hands on her hips and giving us her best smile. "Not long, Tifa just switched out with me."

I crossed my eyes, twitching and eyebrow upward in mock superiority. "You're taking turns?"

The femme nodded, tosseling her ebony locks. "Yup! Can't stay long though, I have a class in twenty minutes." She quirked her lips to the left, crossed her arms, and moved her glance to the same direction, speaking now through her teeth. "Tifa had better get back soon."

As if on cue, the aforementioned female appeared behind us, wrapping an arm around each of the twins Yuffie had been addressing, poking her face between us. "Miss me, boys?"

Sora sqeeled with delight, draping both arms around her. "Tifa!" His face then changed, becoming somber. "It's not true, right? The fighting?"

The dark-chocolate haired woman sihed, ruffling a hand through the boy's chestnut spikes. "I'm sorry, Sora, but it is true."

The brunette's face transformed into one of his signiture pouts, his temporary smile seeming to face away from exhistance for all eternity.

Tifa tried to reassure him with a smile. "If I know Cloud, and I do, I'd bet he did a piss-poor job of explaining things to you, right? C'mon, I'll take you two out for coffe and clear things up."

We said our goodbyes to Yuffie, and left for a nice dose of caffine.

After we were situated with drug-filled hot drinks in hand, Tifa began her version of the college horrors we would be subjected to from now on.

"Well, I'm sure you're aware that this whole thing started many years ago, between our seven families, right?"

The two of us nodded in the affirmitive.

"Okay, thing is, it starts the moment you set foot on campus. When you start attending Destati University, your life stops being your own. You're expected to manage your classes, of course, but you are also expected to join in the conflict between the opposing three families." She took a delicate sip of her coffee.

"All of your life, you've been unknowingly prepared for this. Your karate lessons, your fencing lessons, even your gun-safety classes."

Sora had been taking a sip of his latte at that moment, but proceeded then to sputter it out onto a man in the table beside ours. "Guns!?" he shouted, earning us the odd looks of everyone in the cafe.

Tifa cleared her throat. "If I may continue... The moment you step off campus, the conflict as a whole stops. Mindless pranks continue, but no fighting. For example, in this cafe, you could have a bucket of worms or something tossed onto your head, but no weapons or anything that would lead to injury."

"Why?" I so originally asked.

Tifa shook her head, brunette locks swaying with her motion. "It's the rules that were set down by the second generation in a council they held, to keep people who were not involved out of it. Also, as soon as you graduate, the conflict is over for you. None of it leaves the university."

Sora immediately cheered up. "So Kairi and I can be friends after we graduate?!"

Again, Tifa sighed. "You _could_, but I doubt you'll want to. She was probably the one who identified your cars. She was the only one on that side who had seen them so many times, after all."

Tifa had to reassure us that are cars were cleaned and alright before she could eventually shoo us off to our first class.

We were among the first there, and so opted to take two seats at the front of class. It wasn't long before Hayner showed up to take a seat beside us.

"Hey guys, how ya like it so far?"

Sora replied by slamming his head face-first into his notebook, but I at least manage to give him a weak smile.

"I guess it's alright."

"Alright?! It's great!" He declared, folding his hands behind his head, and leaned back in his seat, making himself at home. "We finally have an excuse to get into some real fights!"

Sora whimpered almost inuadibly into his notebook. "I don't wanna fight Kairi."

"Even after she lead Axel and Riku to both your cars?"

Sora grumbled again, but I decided to inquire further. "You're well informed...?"

"Yeah, well, Demyx might not be much of a fighter, but he can gather information like no one else. He's got the info on everyone in this mess."

Ah, Demyx. The gender-confused older brother of my best friend. We all had our theories on the girly-man, but when confronted, he would deny his gay sexual orientation with everything he had.

I, for one, didn't believe him. Prancing around singing show tunes in a fluffy pink bathrobe and tweety-bird slippers while cooking breakfast was not something a straight man would be caught dead doing. Demyx blamed it on his major in the theatre arts. Enough said.

"So then, I don't suppose you know how this whole thing actually started? No one told us."

Hayner looked contemplative for a moment, crossing his arms over his chest. He then shrugged, a slight frown crossing his lips. "He didn't say."

I was starting to wonder if anyone knew how this whole thing had started, and if they didn't, why did everyone just go along with it? Were we so poisoned against eachother that it didn't even matter to us?

Well, not me. I was going to get to the bottom of it, no matter what the cost. After all, it wasn't like I had anything to lose. My life had been signed away to ths stupid conflict the moment I inherrited my last name.

Funny how life screws you over like that.

From the corner of my eye, I spotted two guys standing out in the hallway.

They each had bright red hair, and fair-skinned, chiseled features. One's hair poked out from his head in a series of long spikes resembling the mane of a lion. The other donned shorter spikes as well as a low pony-tail. Both had tatooes on their face, the pony-tailed one's being strange, crescent-like lines sweeping from just beside his hairline to underneath his eyes, the same color as his tresses. The other boy's were twin black triangles- one under each eye.

They were dressed casually, and now I noticed, staring right at me. They started chuckling when I noticed them, the pony-tailed one tapping his knight-stick on his shoulder.

"The twins; Axel and Reno," Hayner informed me in a hushed whisper, "The one with the pony-tail is Reno, best at up-close fighting, both with his weapon, and his fists. The other is Axel, better in long-range attacks. He's pyrokinetic and has these weird, spiked chakrams."

I raised an eyebrow at Hayner's information, before what he said really sank it. "Wait, wait. Pyrokinetic!?"

"Yup, best to watch out for that one."

I watched them as they started to walk away. So, this was my first greeting by the enemy. But more importantly, the guy who abused my car with eggs and paint was a pyro-kinetic!?

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Author's ending notes: There ya go, chapter one! I'll have chapter two up as soon as I can get Error 404: Crazy started so that I don't get shot or anything. Moonlight Shadow will be updated soon as well. Don't kill me for starting another story. Also, now that you've read, please review! I'm holding my Playstation pen hostage until you do! D:


	2. Mad World

**Do Not Use While Sleeping**

By Candied

Disclaimer: My New Years resolution was to be the owner of the rights to Kingdom Hearts. Everyone else said I should quit smoking. ::Shrugg::

Official warning: This story has both heterosexual pairings as well a homosexual ones. Be prepared for strange plot twists, oppinionated views of the characters, twisted humor, and all in all absurd scenarios. Rated M for language.

Author's notes: Alrighty then. Chapter two! Duh duh duh!!! Now that alerts are back up (or so it seems) I'll be able to reply to reviews, which I will do in the morning. I worked a long day today and spent all my energy writing this chapter, so I'm just too damn tired to respond at the moment. Tomorrow, I promise. Thanks to the reviewers I've gotten so far, I hope this chapter doesn't dissapoint. I'm quite pleased with it, myself, so I hope you will be too.

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Chapter two: Mad World

So, life just got a whole lot more interesting. Despite the fact that I was swamped with work from my very first class, I had many, many other things on my mind. For one, the fact that any attempt to seek revenge on the pyro that defiled my car would be relatively the same as going up against a grizzly with a blunt toothpick. I'd have to beat him at his own game, silent, sneaky attacks to his person or things. An actual fight? Like hell I'd throw myself into that situation. I don't want to be a blazing pile of ashes, thank you very much.

So as I walked down the hall with Sora and Hayner, heading to our cars, I silently tried to plot my vengence on the flame-inducing older boy. Thus far, I hadn't come up with anything relatively possible.

I hadn't been paying attention, and accidently bumped into another person. I was snapped back to reality, and turned to the girl I'd slammed into.

"My bad, I'm sorry. I should have been paying attention."

The girl with silver hair and red eyes immediately shot me a piercing scowl. Her face had twisted into such an angry look, you'd think I'd molested her in the process or something.

"Surrender." She got into a fighting stance, her maroon eyes shooting daggers at my person.

I took a step back, shaking my head in confusion. "Huh?"

Hayner and Sora turned to myself and the girl, the sandy-blonde's face twisting to sneer at the femme.

Then, one of the twins from before; Reno as Hayner called him, put his hand on the girl's shoulder, turning his face to speak but with his eyes locked on mine. He wore a smirk that reminded me of the Cheshire cat's. "Not here, Fuu. Save it for later. You'll get your chance."

Her red orbs gave me one last metaphorical stab, before she turned to start walking away, her stance showing her obvious dissapointment.

Reno took my chin in his hand, forcing me to look up at his eyes. "Such defiance," he remarked, "Hang onto that. You'll need it." He roughly let go, causing me to move back a little, and he chuckled before walking away.

I stood there in shock for a moment, not quite understanding what had just happened. It was a somewhat civil confrontation with the enemy. And I think he gave me some twisted kind of advice, though I wasn't sure.

Sora stared at the two figures, dissapearing into the crowd, his own befuddlement manifested clearly on his face. "What the hell?"

I regained my composure, before looking to Hayner. "Uh... let's just get out of here."

Disregarding the previous encounter with the girl named Fuu and the twin of the object of my every mental slaughter, the three of us continued on to headquarters.

When we arrived, I smiled softly at the simple decor of the area, obviously the doing of my older brother. There was a slight feminine touch to it, though only barely, making it feel just a tad bit more homely. Courtesy of Tifa, I had no doubt. The three of us seemed to be the first there other than the aforementioned brother of mine, stretched across one of the long, beige couches, eyes closed and seemingly lost in thought. Hayner and I took our places in two chairs, but it was not until Sora sat down beside him that he actually graced us with his blue gaze.

"Anything to report?" That was my brother alright, never much of a guy for intense conversation. At least, not that I had ever remembered.

Sora was the first to pipe up. "Roxas ran into a girl named Fuu in the hall, but Reno stopped her from fighting him and told Roxas to hang on to his defiance." He didn't take a breath, but it was not the most I'd seen come from him without falter.

Cloud rubbed the bridge of his nose, pondering something. "That was kind of him. I wonder why."

I rolled my eyes, crossing my arms in protest. "There was nothing kind about the situation, and I really don't care to know what he was thinking. What I _want_ is to get revenge on that asshole twin of his for what he did to my baby."

"All in good time, Roxas. Let's just wait for everyone else to get here."

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Life was one gigantic load of shit, that's what. I had always been a bit odd, so I'm told, but this whole war against the four other families was even a strange idea to someone such as I.

Sure, I'd spent most of my childhood setting Reno's toys aflame, and getting detention for bomb-threats made to the school. Big deal. This war thing, it was starting to get out of hand, and if I wasn't already, I was surely going crazy.

_Axel?_ You say. _Why on earth would a war against people you barely know drive you crazy?_

First, step back and re-read that sentence. Mhm, just as I thought. You may even start to understand my woe without a full-fledged explanation. Well, today's your lucky day, because I'll let you in on just what I think of this dumb ass conflict.

I hated it. Every moment of it. I am a being like wild fire - constantly moving with a deadly dance from one enemy to the other. I thrive on change, passionate emotions, an ever-burning light against the cold, dark sky, turning all those who got in my way to cinders, and never looking back.

Now though, I was a barely ignitable ember, which was tearing me apart at the seams in a cruelly clean-cut fashion. This, all of this, was as predictable as what happens if you stick a knife through your hand, and just as painful. To me, at least. It was killing me inside, always doing the same thing. Going to headquarters and plotting some stupid scheme to avenge our dead ancestors for whatever the hell happened between them and this other band of willing participants. Then again, I wasn't willing, so maybe they weren't either.

But that boy...

I stared at the photo of the blonde who's car I had thrown my painty and eggy will apon, recieved when I first heard it was he who I would focus on this year.

The intense brazenness in his eyes was a direct challenge to me, or so it felt. As though he were daring me to wipe the valor directly off his smug face. It was change, it was passionate, and it was my calling. If I could somehow find a way to completely take control of this boy, rendering him defenseless against my exceeding, superior expertise, maybe I could again find that light to call me home to the life of the party I once was.

It was true, after starting college at this forsaken pit of hell (minus the fire I would have enjoyed so much), everything changed. This conflict became my life, and I was stolen from the life I once called my own. I would go to wild parties, bring home drunken females, and sometimes the occasional male, to claim as my own for the night in the privacy of my bed. I was more than well known in that scene, and I remember the lustful looks of all that joined the scene as well. Everyone wanted me. Not so few had me, though I did save myself for those who were nearly as attractive as I was. You would be suprised to find that there were actually enough people close to my level of captivating bewitchery to allow me to grace them with my premium sexual knowledge nearly every night.

But now, I dare even say I was getting a bit lonely. I hadn't had anyone in my bed for nearly a week, because Leon had insisted on 'preparing' for this year, and I was about to lose it and end up humping some poor, unsuspecting light pole.

I sighed, letting my warm breath seduce the chilly night air before blending into it, becoming one. Damn, even my breath was boring. Couldn't I at least have some cinnamon gum to spice it up?

Ahh, what luck! I reached in my pocket, pulling out a strip of Big Red, chewing it into a soft, pink little blob between my-

Fucking HELL, what the crap?!

I looked down at my wrist, the blood slowly, painfully dribbling down the skin to drip ever so tenderly to the cement of the sidewalk on which I had placed my feet.

I watched the skin peeling apart to form the smallest, barely readable words etched into my body. It was startling at first, but now I just endured the pain and wiped away the blood, trying to read. Whatever it was, Reno was obviously pretty upset about it.

_Meet at the School entrance in 5._ The message read now. It paused for a moment, before going on. _Take a sedative. You're going to need it._

Holy Hell, what the fuck did those Strife brats do?

I ran at full speed to entrance, unsuprisingly fining Reno to be there, shaking with his anger, when I arrived. I strutted to him, holding in my curiosity in with extreme grace, in a meager attempt to avoid letting my emotions take control of me.

He turned my way when he heard my footsteps, the look of horror on his face only growing when he watched me keep my calm. I stopped five foot before him, and ran a hand idly through my gorgeous red locks. "What's up?"

The color had faded from his face, leaving his features to look as though they were cold as ice. Perhaps even as fragile. "R-roxas... And Sora..."

I rolled my eyes, still pretending to be cool and collected though my twin was in a state of shock. "Yeah, yeah. What did they do?"

He moved to the side, pulling a blanket off of some items, all of which I hadn't noticed before.

There, in front of my very eyes, I saw a number of things Reno had obviously collected to bring to me and show. Or, perhaps he found them like that, as I now noticed there was a letter to myself and Riku, in large, bold letters.

_If you can't take the heat, don't start the fire, _it proclaimed.

But I let my glowing emerald orbs peer to the objects, the blood in my own face fading into non-exhistance.

There were my chakrams, painted pink and covered in bows, the edges of the spikes that it adorned blunted to great lengths. My jaw dropped. But no, that was not the worst of it.

My eyes moved again, to another object. This one was one of Riku's. It was his beloved guitar, the strings clipped and neck broken, with all the tuner knobs broken off, painted purple with little rainbows all over. Riku was going to have a shit fest about this.

But two more things struck my eye. Two polaroid photographs, sitting innocently beside the objects. I picked up the first one, and gazed apon it, barely able to contain my blazing rage. It was my car, a 64 1/2 black mustang, in completely perfect condition. The only thing wrong with this picture, was that it was DANGLING FROM A FORKLIFT OVER A CLIFF!

"Uh... Axel?"

"WHAT!?" I yelled, unable to contain myself any longer.

"Your hands are on fire."

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I was practically skipping on my way back to the dorm from headquarters, where we had just finished the party for the first attack by Sora and I. It was awesome, and I was silently wondering if that pyro bastard had found them yet. He was going to flip a shit for sure, I mean, anyone in their right mind _would_ should they have such a lovely car.

I knew I wasn't going to let that car ever drop, it was far too much of a prized possesion of the world to send it to such a terrible fate. Axel, however, did not know my appreciation of the good condition of his vehicle.

I was a bit of a car-freak, I'll admit. I owned more than one racing mag, and understood the full value of such a rare car. Sora, though, would have let it plummet to its impending doom. Like I said, he may be my twin, but we're really not that much alike.

Riku would probably freak when he found out about his Charger, too. Though, if they were smart enough to look at the back of the letter, they would understand fully the ransom that was held over their precious modes of transportation.

_Bow at the feet of Roxas and Sora, prove your invaluable loyalty to them by telling them all you know of your companions and help with a plot to seek ultimate revenge on your fellow party members, and your cars will be returned to you, unscathed._

It would really be that simple.

I was nearly to my dorm when I smelled cinnamon faintly in the night ear. An eyebrow quirked itself upward, wondering where the smell could be coming from.

Then, I felt hot skin grab at my wrist from the shadows, pulling myself into the darkness as well.

I felt my back being pressed against a warm body, though I could not see the owner. The hand that held my wrist tightened, squeezing the blood out of the area, so it felt. Another hand darted up to my neck, running bony fingers across my skin in an unpleasing way. I shivered at the touch, though my face became a scowl.

"What the-"

"Shut up." The voice was like snake, hissing its venom at me though the breath was warm, tinkling at my ear. "I want you to get on your knees and beg for forgiveness you detestable imbecile."

I tried to wiggle free. "Never!"

He kicked at my knees, forcing them to bend and making me fall to them with a loud thud against the cement below. Pain swept into them, but I turned my head to the side, unwilling to do as he asked. I knew all to well that it was Axel, now.

He clasped both my wrists together, using his force with them to keep me slightly bowed on the ground. He moved to be in front of me, still holding me with his hands which felt like they were scorching my flesh.

"Beg." He demanded.

I looked up at him for a moment, nose scrunched into the fowlest scowl I could muster. Then, I turned my face down, and spat on his black combat boots.

I never expected to recieve a kick to the gut. I coughed, sputtered, and had lost my breath for a moment. Still, though, I could tell that he had held back, pulling his foot at the last moment to avoid further injury to my person. What I didn't know, was why.

"Beg!" He demanded again, his grip tightening on my wrists that made them feel as though they would snap. How could someone so lanky be so strong?

I glared up into his eyes, probably mirroring the same look he had towards me.

Then, his eyes softened, his lips meandering themselves in to a scary, almost mocking grin. He moved down to squat in front of me, still having some height on me none the less. He brought his face uncomfortably closer to mine, brushing it cheek-to-cheek. "You have the most amazing eyes," he whispered saucily into my ear, "And even with your nose scrunched up like that, I could see the lust in them."

Woooah. Wait. Hold up. STOP THE YELLOW LOSER CRUISER AND LET ME GET OFF!

I pushed back at him with my elbows, kicking and squirming my way into a standing position before wripping my upper limbs from his grasp. Did this guy just go from telling me to beg for forgiveness, to hitting on me, and claiming that _I_ was gay?

I stumbled backwards, losing my footing and falling back onto my ass. I didn't stop though, scrambling to move farther and farther away from him. His eyes were locked with mine, giving me the look a guy gives to a girl he wants to bed.

No. This. Wasn't. Happening.

He... he had... the AUDACITY to call me a fucking flamer? No, no, no. Flamer was Demyx's thing, not mine. And I'll have you know; I had no interest starting up a new sexual preference eighteen years into my life. Fuck you, buddy. No.

When I scrambled to my feet, and finally managed to find my voice, I pointed at him with an accusing finger. "H-homo!?" I screamed, more a question than anything.

The redhead crossed his arms, rolling his eyes. "Not really, I'm bisexual." His face then changed to the flirtatious one from before. "But for you, baby, I could be."

I ran. I fucking flew out of there and to my apartment, and I didn't look back.

He had to be fucking with me, he just had to. Still, it didn't stop my skin from crawling.

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As soon as he was out of earshot, I burst into a fit of hysterical laughter. The look on his face was priceless, something I'd keep etched into my memory for years to come. I almost thought he'd burst into a girly shreik halfway through his struggle to get away. Yes, that had worked out absolutely perfectly.

While I hadn't lied when I said I was bi, I certainly wasn't going to sink to the likes of him no matter how horny I was. Sure, he was cute in a cuddly sort of way, but that kid would surely be too much work for a one night stand. He was all pride, no dishonor. Not a good candidate for a person you want in your bed for the night, then out by morning. No, people like that wanted relationships. Fire didn't have relationships; it burnt whatever crossed it's path and moved on. Oh yeah, I'd fucked with him.

Still, he should have known what would happen when he played with fire. You may think you've beat it, but it will come back and beat you in another way. He went to low as to threaten such a precious vehicle as my mustang, and I'd go even lower. I'd threaten something even more personal to an impressionable teen. His sexuality.

And he fell right into my trap. I almost felt bad. But I'd extinguish his fire, that ferocity beaming from those azure eyes. Because my fire was greater, and I would not let him exceed it with his own.

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Author's notes: Okay, so I guess I'm not really the comedic type. I'm trying guys, really. Bare with me, it may take some time for it to actually get good, but I have to establish relationships between characters and whatnot blah blah blah. Tomorrow I have the day off, and I'll update Error:404 and Moonlight Shadow, so look forward to that. It took me eons to write this chapter and I apologize, but I'm still sick and work has been ripping me apart. Anyway, the crayon is free but I now hold my writing skills (however lame) hostage for reviews. So review!


	3. It's All About the Look

**Do Not Use While Sleeping**

By Candied

Disclaimer: My New Years resolution was to be the owner of the rights to Kingdom Hearts. Everyone else said I should quit smoking. ::Shrugg::

Official warning: This story has both heterosexual pairings as well a homosexual ones. Be prepared for strange plot twists, oppinionated views of the characters, twisted humor, and all in all absurd scenarios. Rated M for language.

Author's notes: Chapter three is here! H'OMG! It's not that funny, but ya know... building up the plot, blah blah blah. Next chapter guaranteed, though. And thank you all so much for your lovely reviews! I can't wait to see more! Anyway, enjoy this next chapter. I hope I didn't make too many errors, I haven't slept since... uh... Thursday. Yeah. Enjoy!

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Chapter three: It's all about the look

Roxas had been acting strange ever since he got back to the dorm after the party last night, but I couldn't get him to talk. I had left earlier, having a headache from a slightly overboard amount of victory alcohol consumption. I had never been a heavy drinker, really, but the little bit I had certainly failed to affect my tolerance.

Meaning, it remained at zero.

I groggily opened my eyes, the light seeming to stab right through them and into my brain, so I hurredly closed them again before throwing my face into the pillow.

_Oooh, I did that too fast. I think I'm going to hurl._

"You awake?" Roxas whispered from his side of the dorm, obviously seeing that I was having a rather brutal hangover.

"Yeah," I grumbled, the sound of my own voice seeming as loud as if someone had put a huge pot over my head and was banging it with a spoon.

"Good, if you don't hurry up you're going to miss your photography class."

If that wasn't enough to force me from my oh-so-comfy sanctuary, nothing was. I gently, _slowly_, pried myself from the area of bliss, wincing at the pain in my noggin as my twin muffled a laugh. "Fuck you," I muttered, one hand covering my eyes from that evil, _evil_ light as the other searched around blindly for my clothes.

I felt soft cloth brush my fingers, and chanced an opening of an eye. I saw Roxas, handing me some already picked-out clothes he had obviously taken the liberty of finding before I awoke. "Thanks."

"No problem." The blonde responded, turning away so I could slip into the clothes. I was tugging my t-shirt over my head when he spoke again, still faced away from me.

"Sora? Have you ever... y'know... thought about guys?"

I popped my head out of the neck, and struggled to understand what he was saying. "Like, when I miss Tidus and Wakka?"

He shook his head, swivelling around to look at me. "No, like... sexually."

I raised one eyebrow, but after finding it to be painful, settled on a blank stare before I sat down on the bed, brushing my hands through my thick, spikey chocolate locks. "Rox, you think I'm gay?"

He seemed to blush a bit, before he opted to look out the window. "Nah, I was just curious."

"Why, have you?"

"Don't be stupid," my twin replied, giving me a look as though I'd asked to borrow his aorta - for just a second.

I shrugged, fixing my hair in the mirror; well, as much as one _could_ fix my hair- before slinging my bag over my shoulder and walking to the door, turning to Roxas again. "No class yet?"

"Nah, I got one at 2. I'll still be here when you get back."

"Alright, later."

I left, strutting purposefully towards my photo class, though my head was still dizzy and... shit. I think I'm still drunk.

Sure enough, the whole world was spinning around me, and I could barely walk. I'm... not even really sure whether I was actually walking or kind of wabbling in a semi-concious state. I do, however, know that I had somehow managed to walk into an entire group of senior girls and knock them all down. After hurredly apologizing, I again made my way to my class. Oh, shit. Where the hell _was_ my class? None of this looked familliar.

Then, something shiny walked by me, and I turned to watch it. It was a boy with platnum blonde- no, _silver_ hair and aquamarine eyes that looked like they held the Bahamas within them. Oooh, those were some pretty eyes.

He suddenly stopped then, turning to me with a wicked grin. Well, I was drunk, and besides that fact, I'm _me_. What did I do? I grinned like a fucking moron, is what I did. God, I bet that smile was about as pleasant as the IRS showing up and taking everything you have, including the clothes on your back, and then taking your mom for good measure.

At least, that's what his expression told me. He did one of those 'raise the eyebrow and give a half-sneer at the drunken lunatic' thing, and I stepped forward, offering my hand for a shake. "I'm Sora, and your eyes are _gorgefull._"

His face turned to discust, and he batted my hand away. "You- you!" He stuck out his finger at me, and I stared at it, cross-eyed. He had suprisingly clean fingernairls. "My _car_!"

I looked up at his eyes now, facing still beaming in my alcoholic stupor. "Is it nice?"

"You tell me, _Sora_! You're the one keeping it dangling over a _cliff_!"

Oh. Shit.

"I... uh... Oh, so you're Riku...?"

He glared, and I thought he was going to grow fangs and suck my blood. But then he might get drunk off my blood. Weird. Hey... his hair was awfully shiny.

He pushed me forcefully into the wall behind me, and my head slammed hard against it. Oww... Wow, the world was spinning even faster now...

"If you don't bring it back to me, I swear I will kill you! I'll cut you open and eat your spline!"

"Oh my GOD! You _are_ a vampire!"

His eyes closed tightly, and he shook his head, before re-opening them and shoving me once more. "What the fuck!?"

Oh, I really felt shitty now. And why was this guy trying to hurt me? Oh, yeah. Right.

"You drunkard," He grabbed my shoulders and started shaking me violently, "if you don't give me back my-"

I felt this really strange sensation in my tummy, and I stared at him as best I could while being thrown back and forth so roughly. The sensation got stronger, and then-

"Blahgahhhhhhh..."

I puked all over the silver-haired boy.

He stopped, looked down at himself, but before he could raise his head to meet my eyes in disbelief, I vomitted all over that pretty silver hair of his I liked so much.

Everyone in the hall had turned to the two of us, watching as my projectile vomit smothered the Bahama-eyed victim. Once it hard started, it wouldn't stop. I just kept puking all over the poor guy, as he tried to stumble away.

When I finally finished, Riku was wearing my past four meals and the booze I'd had the night before, and he looked anything but pleased. In fact, he looked like he was so full of rage he was going to **explode**.

Shaking with anger, he scrunched up his vomit-covered nose at me, somehow even more frightening with my bodily fluids all over him. "Sora Strife, next time I see you, one of us is going to end up six feet under."

He stalked away, dripping all throughout the hall. I, however, suddenly felt loads better, enough to be able to take on my photo class for sure. And look at that, not a _drop_ got onto me!

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I sat in the dorm, my laptop on and playing some good old Mindless Self Indulgence for anyone within a 200ft radius to happily sing along to. Because, of course that's what they would do if they heard it, it was _my_ music. The music _I_ listened to, and these people were graced by my good will of letting them share it with me through thin walls. I know, I know, I'm generous to a fault.

The door opened, but I didn't turn to watch Riku come in. I mean, who else would it be? So I remained where I was, eyes closed, bobbing my head along to my scarily great taste in music.

But then, I smelled it. This horrible, loathful scent that was probably eating away at my skin and nose hairs as I sat here. I opened my eyes, turning to Riku and saw that he was covered in some strange, chunky substance. Holy shit, was that puke?

"The hell happened to you?"

"Sora puked on me."

I couln't help myself from buckling over in laughter. Being puked on was one thing, but this kid was covered head to toe in the vomit of Sora Strife, the resident car theif. "You're a fucking dumbass, man..." I managed to choke out. "What did you do, tell him you were gunna rape him with yor crooked cock?"

He glared, wiping off some of the vomit with one of his towels. Well, ours, technically, since I didn't own any. "No," he grumbled, "And it's not crooked."

"So why'd he unleash the stomache of death and destruction on you?"

"He was drunk, and I shook him."

"Well then quit your whining, you brought it on yourself."

"He stole my car, and it's-"

"I know, but you shook a drunk kid." I cackled again. "Dumbass."

Less than amused by my superior intelligence of why shaking drunkards is not a fun past time for any participant; save maybe Sora, he left again to take a shower.

Riku was my best friend. He was loads of fun, cool as shit, but as dumb as the folks that chose to write 'Do not turn upside-down' on the bottom of a microwave dinner. I didn't mind much though, he was a loyal friend and knew exactly where to find a bed mate when ya needed one. It was like he had this sixth sense, seriously. However, he abused his gift and I had a bet going with Zexion that he'd have every STD known to man before he hit 27. 30, tops.

And that's only if he always remembers to pack it before he wacks it. Yeah right, I think I'd seen Riku carry a condom once. What this kid needed, was a back-pack full.

Anyway, so I was alone, minding my own business, when there was a knock on the door. "I got laid this morning!" I called to the knocker, "Come back later tonight!"

Honestly, this one girl just wouldn't leave me alone.

The door creaked open, and I turned to yell at said femme, but found someone else there instead, much to my suprise.

There, in my doorway, stood Zexion, looking slightly nervous. Whoaaa... an emotion? Shit, where's Armageddon?

"Hey, Axel."

I nodded to him. "S'up, Zex?"

His nose twitched, and he scowled at the air around him. "This place smells... horrid."

"Sorry about that. Sora puked on Riku."

"That would explain it." He sat down beside me on the bed, silently sorting out his words for a moment before he decided to explain why I was pleasing him with my presence.

"Axel, I have a problem."

"What, are you an alcoholic or something?"

He shook his head. "No, it's nothing like that. You know Demyx, Hayner's brother?"

I nodded, allowing him to continue.

"I think I may..." he paused, shaking his head to let me know those were not the right words, "He smiles at me, and I smile back."

I almost fell off my bed. "You _smile_?"

He nodded. This was the closest Zexion had ever come, in the history of mankind, to admitting to emotions to another individual. I thought it over for a moment, and then came up with something. "So go get in those pants, Zex."

"I... don't want to get into his pants."

My jaw dropped. This was more than sexual frustration and mutual attraction? Did he... could he...?

"I think I may find him to be a suitable companion."

All of a sudden, my world was turned upside-down. If Zexion had emotions, which hand was my left? Which way was the sky? What color was my hair, and goddamn it, which boot do I put on first?!

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Author's note: So, there you have it, Riku gets full of Sora vomit and the whole Zexion/Demyx thing is going to start. Look forward to the point of view from everyone's favorite sitar-player! And if you haven't noticed, I don't have a single story where Axel isn't pyro-kinetic. I feel that it's an important part of his character, and I immagine him pouting at me when I try to write him without it. It... I just can't do it. Anyway, let me know what you think! Please review!


	4. Forbidden

**Do Not Use While Sleeping**

By Candied

Disclaimer: My New Years resolution was to be the owner of the rights to Kingdom Hearts. Everyone else said I should quit smoking. ::Shrugg::

Official warning: This story has both heterosexual pairings as well a homosexual ones. Be prepared for strange plot twists, oppinionated views of the characters, twisted humor, and all in all absurd scenarios. Rated M for language.

Author's notes: I'm sorry, I know I was supposed to update yesterday, but I got called into work! x.X Anyway, I got the day off today in return so I now give you this (rather short) chapter to hold you over until I can update again! I know most of you don't care to know, but I'm going to explain anyway. We just fired _another_ server and our boss is in town, so everyone is working double shifts this week, not sure yet about next week, so please forgive me for not updating as much as usual! I'm going to try to update more, honestly, but thank you all so much for being so patient with me so far. Without further ado, here is the next chapter!

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Chapter four: Forbidden

For most people, old memories fade with time. Mine has not. Granted, I am a junior, so something that happened when I was a freshman is not quite such a far-off memory. Still, I remember it like it was five minutes ago.

I was a bright, cheery new college student, eager to take on my classes with all the effort I could muster. I was not unaware of the family rivalry I would be subjected to, but I had decided not to let it consume me. For one, I'm not much of a fighter. When left to myself, I pride myself on my skill at playing the sitar, and my acting isn't so shabby either. I was overjoyed to be majoring in theatre, looking at the school before me with such optimism I could barely contain my smile.

I was walking with Cloud, a sophomore at the time, into the big oak doors that would eventually lead me to my further education, striding purposefully in, thrilled that I was starting my life as an adult.

Cloud held out an arm, allowing me to walk in first, and the grin across my face somehow managed to spread even wider. Unfourtunately, I tripped and sprawled out across the floor, hearing a muffled laugh from the man behind me. A blush crept to my face, and I pushed myself up, when I saw a hand extended out towards me.

I followed the arm up to the boy's face- a slender, sculpted face with deep blue eyes, one shrowded by perriwinkle hair. He was beautiful, and I took his offered hand, and he helped me up to my feet. "T-thank you..." I muttered, still staring at his beautiful face.

"Be careful," he warned, almost as if it were a whisper.

I smiled, and bowed my head a little in an attempt to hide my blush. "Heh... I'll try."

He returned the smile, a gesture I later found out was a rarity, and turned to slowly walk away.

It was then that Cloud informed me that the man I had instantaneously fallen for was my mortal enemy. Zexion, a boy in Cloud's year, on the opposing side of the war I found myself in. At that time, though, I silently vowed that I would never oppose Zexion directly. I held to it, I never pulled a prank on him, or fought him either. I'm not sure why, but he did me the same honor.

Every time we saw eachother in the hall, I would remember that day and offer him a silent smile which he would return. As he information gatherer on our side, I knew that Zexion preferred to remain emotionless; thus, a smile from him was my rose amongst the thorns.

In case you somehow missed this; I'm gay. I'm not really sure when I figured that out, but I always knew that I wasn't interested in girls. Not that they aren't great and everything, they're just... not what I like.

Anyway, what I wanted to tell you about was earlier this morning. I had woken up late, and was dashing through the halls on my way to my music technology class, books and papers in my arms as I ran.

I weaved in and out of people-traffic, suprised that I had not yet caused any damage to my person. My papers were flying out of my arms, but I didn't care. I was too focused on getting to my class.

Then, a brightly colored flier on the wall caught my attention, and I turned to look at it as I ran. It was proudly proclaiming that there was to be a school-wide formal, in celebration of the school's hundred-year anniversary. When I turned my head back to watch where I was going, I saw a flash of perriwinkle for the briefest moment before I was looking up at the ceiling, a terrible pain throbbing in my skull.

"Owwww..." I muttered, lifting myself, to see that the man I had thrown myself into was sprawled across the floor in front of me, face stricken with shock. Oh my GOD, it was Zexion.

I quickly scrambled over to him on my hands and knees, and looked down at his face. "OhmyGODareyouok?!"

He blinked at me for a moment, seemingly still stunned by the smash. Well, that or he didn't understand what I had blurted out in question. I didn't wait for an answer, instead holding up three of my fingers, an embarrased rouge tint covering my cheeks. "How many fingers am I holding up?"

He looked at them for a moment, before a small smirk crossed his lips. He pushed my hand gently away- and OH was his skin soft -and sat up. "I'm fine."

"Are you sure?"

He nodded, before he raised an eyebrow and looked at me from the corner of his eye. "Shouldn't you be happy you knocked your enemy down?"

I moved back a little at the sheer shock I felt from such a question, before I averted my eyes and felt my cheeks getting hotter. "Er... I... I don't want to hurt you..."

He started to collect my papers, and I remembered them as well, also scooping up as many as I could. "Then I suggest watching where you're going." He offered. It was not harsh or sarcastic when he said it, in fact, it was gentle and understanding.

"Heh... I'll try."

He handed me the papers and my books, and the two of us stood, me looking at him with akward embarrasment.

"Take care," he told me, before turning to walk to his own class.

Ya know... I really didn't mind seeing him walk away, and acually watched his frame- and that butt in those tight jeans- until he dissapeared into the crowd. Then, I looked at my watch, and realized that even after all that running, I was still late. I don't think I minded much, though.

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_"I think I may find him to be a suitable companion."_

I stared. Blinked. Stared some more.

Then, I think the reality of the situation finally sank in. "Wait... you want to date _Demyx_?" My shock at Zexion with emotions would have to be put on hold for now, we had more important matters at hand.

Like, say, the fact that the object of Zexion's affections was a member of the opposing party!

The man sighed, looking at the ground. "I know, nothing like this has ever happened before. I... I don't know what to do about it."

"Nothing!" I yelled, appalled at the very idea of romance between the families. It was... I mean, it had to be forbidden if friendship was! "Forget about it! Do you know what Leon would _do to you_ if he found out?!"

The other boy nodded, turning his eyes back to me. "Yes, but I don't care." His face was serious, and frankly, I couldn't believe what was happening.

"You can't just turn on us like that, Leon will destroy your career at this school!"

"And that's why I'm going to ask you to keep this a secret." His brow was furrowed, and I knew that it was more of a demand than a request. I, for one, did not know what the wrath of Zexion was, but I did _not_ intend to find out.

"Just... don't tell me any more than that. I don't want to know, and have Leon remove my nuts for not saying anything."

He nodded, and left without another word. I was left to sit there, immagining what would become of my friend should he pursue this relationship with the ditzy blonde. I mean, sure, I'd messed with Roxas' head, but Zexion meant to have a relationship with one of our enemies. Surely, disembowlement was in the future for the resident perriwinkle-haired man.

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I _hate_ Axel. After the previous night, all I was able to think about was him and the strange encounter we had. I was dwelling on it, mulling it over in my brain of brains and I still could come up with nothing to show for it. Not even a single half-assed explaination of why the fire-engine redhead would want to mess with me in such a way, I mean, that was just cruel.

The way his hot skin brushed against my cheek and his breath tickled at my ear, the way his eyes looked at me as though he was ready to pounce onto my frame and pound me into submission... it irked me. My skin still crawled where it had met his, his eyes were still burned under my eyelids, haunting me every time I closed my blues. But the worst part... oh, the worst... was that I wasn't exactly sure how I felt about it.

Sure, I was angry and felt violated because of his antics, but there was more. It was almost.. exciting... to be demeaned in such a way before he saucily started to hit on me.

Holy hell, did that mean I was into S&M?

I shook my head to pull me from my daze, and heard the door click open, revealing a happy looking twin of mine, who promptly plopped himself down on the bed next to me.

"You look like you feel better," I commented.

He shot me one of his famous, award-winning smiles. "I do! I felt really terrible for a while, but then I hurled on Riku and I felt so much better!"

I bent over double with laughter, but Sora didn't seem to find it quite as amusing.

"Dude, no, I felt terrible! He was just... covered in the stuff, and I couldn't stop! Then he said one of us would die, and walked away before I could even apologize!"

That was Sora, allright. Good-hearted to a fault. I choked down the rest of my cackles and looked to him with a grin. "Don't you realize how _awesome_ that is?"

Sora sighed, letting the subject drop. Surely, however, it would go down in history.

Then, remembering something, Sora rummaged through his bag to pull out a neon-orange flier, handing it to me with a beaming smile. "We're having a formal!"

_Destati Unniversity Centennial Ball_, it proclaimed. I continued to read.

_On Friday, September 10th, Destati Unniversity will be celabrating it's 100th anniversary of Education Excellence, with a formal ball. It will be held in the school's party hall, and all students and teachers are requested to attend. There will be food and dancing, with live music. Please dress formally, and join us in the celebration of our school's glorious birthday._

_Doors will open at 7pm, and all classes for the next day are cancelled. We hope to see you there! - Headmaster Xemnas_

Sora squeeled when I finally brought my eyes back to his. "Who are you going to take?"

I shrugged. "I dunno. Maybe Nami will go with me as friends."

"I'm going to ask Kairi," he said, a hopeful look in his eyes. I could only frown.

"Don't, Sora. Just... let the friendship die."

"No," he responded, looking almost hurt, "Kairi's not like that, and I know she still wants to be my friend."

I sighed, looking away from him. He just wouldn't give up, and in the end, he's have to see for himself. Poor Sora.

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Author's note: Yeah, not a very amusing chapter, but a chapter none the less. I wanted to show the problem that will be Demyx and Zexion, as well as inform you of the hilarity that will be the Centennial Ball. This story has so few reviews, please grace me with them! I live for them! They make me feel so much better after a long day of work...


	5. Just my luck

**Do Not Use While Sleeping**

By Candied

Disclaimer: My New Years resolution was to be the owner of the rights to Kingdom Hearts. Everyone else said I should quit smoking. ::Shrugg::

Official warning: This story has both heterosexual pairings as well a homosexual ones. Be prepared for strange plot twists, oppinionated views of the characters, twisted humor, and all in all absurd scenarios. Rated M for language.

Author's notes: H'omg!!! -checks pulse- I'm alive! I know it's been forever, and some of you may have lost interest after so long -cries-, but I litterally almost worked myself to death. A little over a month and a half ago, I was working even though I had pneumonia and ended up in the hospital with a breathing machine and the works. Most of that time, I wasn't even concious. However, I returned to so many lovely reviews and the like that I couldn't stay away from any longer! I'm still a little tired, so forgive the errors in this chapter, but I had to give back after all the kind words you have given me! It was so great to come back to all of that, and I thank you all so much. In all actuality, I'm lucky to be alive, but fear not, I made it! I cried when I read the reviews that have been waiting for me so long, and I thank and love you all.

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Chapter Five: Just my luck

Whoever came up with the idea of a restaurant is a jackass. Why, yes, pay people less than minimum wage to wait on a bunch of assholes hand and foot, but let them recieve tips so that we can do it legally! Genious!

Needless to say, I was less than a happy camper as I trudged into work that day, my twin Reno on my heels. I strutted up to the host's podium to see what section I'd be working in this evening, and let out an angry sigh when I saw they'd put me in the back section. Lovely, because I _wanted_ to stay in this hell-hole until close.

Kairi looked up at me with a sheepish smile, and put a hand on my shoulder, trying to comfort me. "Someone has to do it, Axel."

Today was Kairi's first day on her own, and with her happy smile and friendly face, I knew she'd be fine. However, I'd be having a conversation with Saix about why I'd be closing again tonight.

"Yeah, whatever." I responded, leaving to make sure everything in my section was set up. Scanning over the tables as I put my apron on, I was pleased to find that the previous server had taken the liberty of refilling all the napkins and other various dispensers at my tables.

Yes, by the way, Reno, Riku, Kairi and I work at an 'up-scale casual' chinese restaurant. I've been working here since I started in college, and I suppose it wasn't all bad. Everyone that worked here was probably legally insane, so it was interesting to say the least.

I turned around, and saw Kairi seating a couple at my table, and strutted over there with my perfect smile to greet my first table for the night. Usually my first table determines my mood for the rest of the shift.

"Welcome to Land of Dragons, my name is Axel, and I'll be your server tonight. Can I start you two off with something to drink?"

The girl smiled at my obvious charm, and nodded. "I'll have a Pink Lady, please."

I nodded. Polite and observant of my undeniable good looks- perhaps a good tip?

The man smiled warmly, and opened his menu. "Yes, I'll have a Martini on the rocks, with an extra olive please?"

"Got it. I'll be right back." I replied, before making my way to the bar. When I got there, I reached over and pushed in the drink order on Riku's touch-screen, before looking to him impatiently. After a moment, he handed me the drinks, and I brought them to the table.

"Are you ready to order, or do you need a few more minutes?"

"We're ready." the man stated, "I'll have the Chicken Chow Mein."

I nodded, and looked to the woman. "And you?"

"I'll have the Orange Chicken, please."

When I nodded, she gave me a quizzical look. "Aren't you going to write this down?"

I pointed to my temple and smiled. "No need, I got it memorized."

I walked over to one of the touch-screens and punched in the order. In truth, the cheap-ass owner wouldn't pay for us to have pads and paper to write the order on, and I wasn't about to buy one with money out of my own pocket. When I finished, I glanced around, and noticed that only four tables were full. Slow for the moment, so I decided I had time for a cigarette while I waited for the food to be prepared.

I scampered off to the back, behind the kitchen, and found Saix standing there. He was looking over some papers while sucking on his own stick of cancer, so I lit my own up.

"You gunna make me close all the time?"

He sighed, and looked over to me. "You're one of the best waiters we've got. Besides, more time means more tips."

I took a drag before responding. "I still hate people."

He grinned. "Oh, but Axel... They _love_ you."

"I can't help it if I'm sexy."

"And that you are."

Alright, let me properly introduce you. Saix, twenty one years old, one of the managers here, and also my ex boyfriend. Or, fling. Something like that. Either way, I'm sure he's not over me.

I grinned, and put out my cig in the ashtray, before turning to walk away. "Duh-nuh-nuh-nuh... Can't touch this!"

I could feel the man rolling his eyes behind me. Whatever, it doesn't really matter if he's pretending to resist my undeniable charm and sex appeal; because I know that it's _impossible_.

Striding back into the kitchen, I picked off the two plates for my table on the line, and brought them to my table.

"Here you are," I said, setting them down. For some reason, I always feel like I have to say something as I'm doing this. But really... what does one say? "I hope you both enjoy. Let me know if you need anything else."

They thanked me, and I started to walk away, but noticing that I had another table, walked toward it instead.

"Good evening, welcome to Land of Dragons. My name is Ax... what are _you_ doing here?"

A pair of blue eyes under stray locks of blonde hair stared up at me for a moment, before a blush of what I assumed was sheer excitement at being able to gaze upon my handsome face crossed the ridge of Roxas' nose. I barely noticed his teary-eyed twin sitting next to him.

"What do you _mean_ what am I doing here? What are _you_ doing here?!" The blonde retorted in such an original manner, I could only guess where he'd come up with it. End sarcasm.

"I _work_ here."

"You _work_?"

"Believe it or not, good looks doesn't get you everything."

"Oh, really? But how would someone like _you_ know that? Your looks couldn't get you penny candy."

He did **not** just insult my sex appeal. Oh, he was going down.

"Is that so? Then stop touching yourself when you think about me, you hopeless-"

"AXEL!"

And there was Saix, in his most professional manner; hands on hips and glowering at me like I'd run over his cat six times.

"Do NOT insult the customers," he continued.

Reverting instantly back to kindergarten, I stomped my left foot, and pointed to Roxas. "But he started it!"

"I don't care Axel, if you keep this up, I'll have no choice but to fire you. If corporate finds out about this..."

And then, Roxas spoke up. "Excuse me sir, but it really isn't Axel's fault. I understand that he has severe brain damage."

I threw my arms about and looked at my manager. "See!? Do you see how he mistreats me? He's like a child; the one that has a crush on you but puts ink in your hair!"

"Enough," Saix interupted, scowling at the both of us. "This young man is a customer, and you are his waiter. You will serve him, and smile about it. Do you understand?"

I _so_ did not feel bad anymore for breaking this man's puny little heart. Or was this his sick revenge?

But then, Roxas stood up, and looked to Sora. "Come on, let's get out of here. I don't feel like eating Axel's spit tonight."

I crossed my arms and raised an eyebrow. "Whatever you say. You know you'd be honored."

"Fuck you." He said, before he took his twin's arm and started for the door.

Well, that solved that problem.

But then Saix suspended me for a week. Shitface.

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"She didn't even speak to me."

"I know, Sora. I was there." Here I was, still fuming about the red-headed monster who plagued my life and my favorite chinese food chain, and all Sora could think about was Kairi.

"I asked her to go with me, and she _glared _at me."

"I guess you'll have to find another date, then."

It absolutely beffuddled me how the boy could go from happy-go-lucky to so-emo-it-hurts in two seconds flat.

"Kairi hates me."

"Yup."

"Roxas!"

"Truth hurts," I shrugged, ending the conversation- thank God! I swear, there was something wrong with this boy. He was the only guy other than Demyx that had a problem and wanted to 'talk about it'.

-But that Axel. Argh, he infuriated me more than anything in this universe. He all but turned my world upside-down, filling up my mind and soul with images of himself. I think he knew that he was doing it too. Or, he was just that full of himself. Could be either.

All in all, I suppose it doesn't actually matter much. Because at that moment, I had a plan. A brilliant plan, at that.

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"I want out."

"Pardon?" Leon questioned, a quizzical brow seeming to demean my very exhistance.

"I refuse to participate in this quarrel any longer." I replied.

"And why, pray tell, is that?"

"I feel it interferes with my studies; and because this is my senior year, I believe I should be paying more attention to future. Afterall, my life will truely start next year, and I wish to be prepared." Yes, it was a bold faced lie. However, were you in my shoes, would you tell him of your affections for Demyx? No, I thought not.

"I can't cut you completely out, Zexion, and you know that. However, I can only call on you when you are truely needed. Being a senior myself, I understand your thoughts."

I nodded, accepting my only option. In reality, it was far more than I'd expected. "My thanks," I replied. I then bowed, and exited the room.

I walked the short distance back to campus, and started toward my dorm room. About halfway there, however, I noticed the blonde sitar player of my affections, fumbling with many books on the opposing sidewalk. He had so many, he'd never be able to carry them himself. Every other step he took, he dropped four or five, and had to stoop to put them on top of the pile.

I glanced around quickly, and did not notice anyone around, so made my way over to the struggling boy.

He was on the ground, trying to pick up the books he'd dropped, but I bent down and took them into my own hands. "Where are you headed?"

He stared blankly at me for a moment, before a blush crept over him and he nodded towards the building beside us. "To my dorm."

"I'll help you take these up there."

He paused, seeming to study my face for a moment. "Are you sure?"

I nodded, and we trudged with his books up the stairs and into his dorm, silently. When we arrived, I set them down next to his pile beside his bed.

I glanced around at his music and theatre posters for a moment, before I noticed that he was staring at me. Were I female, I'm sure my heart would have skipped a beat.

"Why did you help me?" he asked, eyes uncertain.

"You needed it."

"I'm your enemy."

I shook my head. "No, you're not."

He gupled loudly, starting to wring his hands, staring at the floor all the while. "What do you mean?"

I sighed, averting my gaze as well. Now or never, I guess. "I don't believe in this nonsense going on between our families, and prefer to make judge people on who they really are."

"And who am I really?"

I paused. I'd come this far, right? "I'm not entirely sure yet, but I'd like to find out."

"What do you mean?" His eyes seemed to sparkle in that moment with hope and fear. I couldn't help but smile.

"I've... liked you for some time now, Demyx, and would like to get to know you. Perhaps start a relationship, if you feel the same."

I'm not sure why, but when I finished my sentence, Demyx sat down and started to cry.

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Author's notes: Aha! The story continues! A little Zemyx fluff for you all, yay! I'll be updating my other stories soon as well, but I'm going to rest a bit for tonight. Just got home, after all. But seriously, I would be nothing without your reviews guys, so leave me some and make me feel even better? And there were a few readers who messaged me wanting to talk, but I had so much mail when I came back that when I went through trying to find them again, I'd lost them. -sheepish smile-. Message me again and I'll get back for sure. And reply to the reviews I recieve as well. Thank you all for staying my faithful readers and reviewers! Cookies for your review?


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